From 589 pounds to 220 pounds. This is my journey. Welcome to the countdown.

The Countdown–3/10/14

Last Week: 323

This Week: 323

Next week’s goal: 318

Magic Number to 220: 103 lbs.

Lost since Nov 2012 (561.8 lbs): 220 lbs

Lost Since Nov 2011 (561.8 lbs): 238 lbs

Highest ever weight recorded/known: 589 (difference of 266 lbs)

Steps for the week: 68,861

Average Steps per Day: 9,837

And…neutral. 

Neutral is an interesting place. I didn’t lose but I didn’t gain. Not gain is good but not losing is not. We’re now on attempt #3 to hit 318. Were there moments that were not best?

Oh yeah. 

Saturday morning there was cake and I’d been good until someone talked about cake and ice cream. At that point all my brain kept saying was “Cake, cake, cake, cake…”

Now sometimes you’re strong enough to say no. But when you’re brain is doing  “Cake, cake, cake, cake…”

Not so easy.

So I compromised. I had the icing but not the cake. I know I’d been better with the cake and not the frosting but really who wants that? 

Lately it’s been harder to say no when I’m in situations. Like a social setting and I didn’t pick the venue. Or when I walk into the lunch room and there’s a box of donuts. Or worse, you ordered right but it came wrong so they GIVE YOU the extra as bonus! 

A year ago I’d said no and kept my resolve/cool. And I did make a mistake…well, I was bigger and there was more room for errors because if I worked harder at the gym it would still come off. 

16 months later, I’m a lot smaller now. I’m also more fit. This afternoon I took a walk and didn’t even break a sweat! That wasn’t the case just 3 months ago. 

Trust me, I’m not unhappy to be smaller or more fit but suddenly a few mistakes here and a few less steps there and well….no gain, no loss. Further portion sizes are now an issue. They didn’t used to be. That takes getting used to. 

I’m my session with Miranda today, we talked about how I shouldn’t want things versus I can’t have that. That I’m feeling restricted. It’s easy to say I don’t want or need pizza but it’s totally not true. This is not to say I want pizza 24/7. But when you’ve still got 2-3 pounds to go to make goal this week and everybody else is eating pizza. That’s not I don’t need pizza, that’s I can’t have it.

But Miranda has a point. Can’t is a negative and it results in negative reactions. It results in feeling restricted. The problem? There are times I am indeed restricted. If I wish to make my goals and accomplishments it may not fall in line with having Chinese food–even if I’ve not had any in 3-4 months. 

So how do you tell your brain you don’t need that when you indeed want it but know you can’t have it right now? 

I’m going to have to really think about this one. 

This week isn’t going to be easy. I have events every weeknight this week. Events where food will be there. Things like cookies, chips, meat and cheese trays (my arch nemesis!), candy–you get the idea. Further I’m sure some will wish to go some place to eat after as well. 

I’m going to have to really be surgical and on top of this or I could be looking at a gain. Next week, 318–attempt #3.

See you on 3/17/14!

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