From 589 pounds to 220 pounds. This is my journey. Welcome to the countdown.

Posts tagged ‘grazing’

Countdown 2/26/14

Last Week: 323

This Week: 330

Next week’s goal: 323

Magic Number to 220: 110 lbs.

Lost since Nov 2012: 213 lbs

Lost Since Nov 2011: 231 lbs

Highest ever weight recorded/known: 589 (difference of 259 lbs)

Steps for the week: 89,598

Average Steps per Day: 12,800

I know what y’all are thinking.  He went to Vegas and this is the result.

I wish I could say that was true…but it’s not.

I came home from Las Vegas at 325. During that trip I had a 30,000 step day and two 10,000 step days. My only sweet all weekend? One small serving of mint chip ice cream. Yes I drank and had some carbs but I stayed strong.

So how am I up 5 pounds since Monday?

On Monday night, I went with friends to TGI Fridays. I ordered a grilled chicken salad.

And then I decided to split boneless buffalo wings with someone.

I thought I’d have 1 or 2.

Well they brought us the wings and they had a bone. The waitress told us to keep them and she’d get new ones. My partner didn’t want any. And there it was. I had a plate of wings in front of me. Worse, the 2nd plate came and half my partner didn’t want either.

So 1 and half plates later, I ate my salad as well.

In one sitting, I wrecked weeks of work. When I try to identify why I keep thinking I was happy. Somehow in my happiness I felt it was okay to have buffalo wings. And then there was the additional food. Why did I eat it? Because when I was a kid, I was told to eat everything on your plate and not waste food.

So because I was happy, my reaction was the celebrate with food. The continuation occurred when I felt obligated not to waste food and eat everything–like a good little boy. Just when I think I’ve figured this out, I realize I’m always going to have issues like this. That I’ll always need to be on top of this stuff and hyper aware.

It’s easy to say why buffalo wings suck and I shouldn’t eat them. But for someone like me, it’s the taste and what reactions and emotions it brings that make them attractive. The memories of hanging out with good friends in college, drinking beer, and eating wings. Or those Sundays watching football with the guys.

Then there’s the other part of this. In Vegas I wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t a fiasco. So why did I create one the night after I came home? Why at a moment of triumph did I torpedo myself like this? Why did I hurt myself? Did I not deserve to be happy? To feel like I accomplished something? I walked 13 miles on Friday and yet it now means nothing.

But then it sort of all makes sense. Ever since I hit 200 pounds lost, I’ve sort hit a standstill. It’s not a physical one just mental. I hit 200 pounds lost and felt like I’d accomplished something. And that would be the case if the job was done–but it’s not. There’s 110 to go. I’ve been justifying and saying I’ll figure it out.

But that’s not happening. I’ve hit goal just once in 2 months. I’ve been content with the 1-3 pound losses. The goal on Monday is 323–7 pounds. I need to get my head out of my ass and make it.

THE COUNTDOWN 1/27/14

Last Week: 332

This Week: 330 (Goal was 327)

Next week’s goal: 325

Magic Number to 220: 110 lbs.

Lost since Nov 2012: 213 lbs

Lost Since Nov 2011: 231 lbs

Highest ever weight recorded/known: 589 (difference of 259 lbs)

Let the speculation and frustration begin. I stepped it up a notch this week in terms of activity. I did 73,695 steps from Monday through Sunday. That’s an average of 10,527.86 steps a day. That comes out to 33.86 miles plus 72 flights of stairs. That doesn’t take into account 3 pool workouts ranging from 20 to 50 minutes, an hour of pilates, and a 1/2 of yoga.

But Monday night I had a meltdown of sorts. After trying not to eat chicken tenders at Lifetime, I found myself at a McDonalds drive thru not once but twice in one evening. The numbers on the calories weren’t horrible but I should never been there. I also did breakfast there that day. So 3 trips to the golden arches in one day–ugh.

Still, when I weight Tuesday, I was still at the same weight. I kept things pretty clean most of the week but didn’t seem to lose. There has been an uptick of cheese and carbs of late. Nothing people would call huge but enough that it could be the difference. Yesterday, I made the error of not eating something with substance after my workout. Partially because I knew there’d be samples at the grocery store.

Mistake.

Ended up grabbing to Taco Bell fresco style tacos. In fairness, it was going to be 2 pieces of grilled KFC chicken but they were out and it was going to take 10 minutes. I wasn’t willing to wait 10 minutes. But I should have. The result was Taco Bell.

That might not been so bad but I was gaming with friends that evening and ran out of fruit. This meant the only thing left to munch on was…potato chips. I thought I could keep it under control. I though wrong. Rather than one or two, it turned into…well, I can’t count the handfuls.

Had a feeling yesterday of not being satisfied with the food I had at times. I’ve also noticed when I’m not in the mood to drink water and try to force myself stuff like this can happen sometimes. Hence my taco bell trip as well. Running out of fruit didn’t help either. Usually I overbuy. This time I didn’t and I paid for it.

So I lost but that’s two weeks in a row I missed goal. In fairness, since 1/1/14, I’ve dropped 19 pounds. But since in November I was at 342, it seems like I’ve been struggling. The exercise went up but the nutrition needs to be cleaner. It’s also become clear that things I used to get away with at a higher weight may not work now.

And that’s where the frustration sets in. I’m going to have either step up the exercise even more or get even cleaner. I think its the latter and that will not be easy. The level of carbs and cheese right now isn’t high but it’s going to need to be less. And while I’ve done it before, it will not be easy. 14 months into this I’m beginning to want a few things back and get tired of the same stuff every morning. Still, I’m 110 pounds from my end goal. If I could keep it clean the next two weigh-ins then I could be in double digits to goal and that would be something.

Next week is 325 and I get an extra day as Matt’s going to China. That means an 8 day week followed by a 6 day week. So 10 pounds in 14 days. Not so easy.

Tag Cloud