Five Guys Friday

During the summer months, my company does Friday bbq. There’s usually grilled chicken and veggies I can do but it all ends around Labor Day. And then it’s back to everybody doing their own thing. Well, almost everybody.

Last spring a Five Guys opened up near work. Big greasy burgers and home cuts french fries. Instantly popular in the office. So popular the office now has what’s called Five Guys Friday. Every Friday they take orders and bring back Five Guys. And being that my office/desk is around the corner from the kitchen, I smell it all the time. I know when it’s here. The entire office chows down on monster sized burgers and greasy, salty fries.

So how many times have I been a part of Five Guys Friday?

Not a one.

It’s not easy. God, it’s REALLY not easy.

Sometimes I’m having my little healthy meal while I’m surrounded by those a part of the Friday ritual. I look at my chicken, smell the burgers, and mentally sigh. My favorite is when some try to “guilt” this group while I eat my healthy meal. Really it hits me more mentally than any of them. The worse part is I’ve romaticizied Five Guys now. Having fought this long, now look at it like a guilty pleasure that one day I’ll be able to have. I’ve thought about just going there one day and getting it out of my system but resisted so far.

Perhaps the hardest part is the peer pressure. Everybody is having Five Guys Friday but I can’t. It makes me flashback to those days as kid when you weren’t considered social normal. When maybe you got stuck wearing the plaid shirts, Buster Brown shoes, and corduroy pants. Or you had the brace facial gear? Or maybe you were the kid who opened your lunch and had all the uncool food compared to the other kids?

Now nobody is dunking my head in the toliet (note: NOBODY ever did that. I weighed too much. They couldn’t lift me to do it anyway) or laughing at me but when everybody else is eating Five Guys and I’m eating a salad with very little dressing…well, you can imagine how you might flashback to those kid moments. The ones when you didn’t fit in. When you didn’t feel comfortable.

I’m not asking my office to give up Five Guys Friday. It wouldn’t be fair to them. This is my issue, problem, and fight. And while all of them support me and these efforts, they’re free to eat whatever they want. As they should be. Unfortunately it sometimes results in me wondering why I can’t have Five Guys like everybody else.

And there lies the issue.

So often we all want to be “like everybody else” following the social norms or being accepted. Yes we all want to be individuals but we all look to fit in somewhere. And that will happen once more as we get closer to Memorial Day. When Five Guys Friday gives way to BBQ. But until then Friday’s at noon surrounded by Five Guys food is just another obstacle on my countdown.

Who I used to be

I was just like everybody else. I didn’t have time to prep food, I wanted it fast, and I wanted it cheap. Here’s what a typical day might look like.

Breakfast–McDonalds: Steak and Egg bagel (minus the egg); Hash Browns x 2; Cinnamon Melt; Vanilla Sugar Free Ice Coffee

Total Calories: 1430

Lunch–Wendy’s: Baconator; Double Stacks x 2; Large Fries; Large All Natural Lemonade

Total for the meal: 2640

Before I even had dinner, I had consumed 4070 calories. One pound is 3500 calories. By lunch time, I was already up one.

This didn’t include something like Gatorade. FYI a 32 oz bottle is 240 calories. I’d consume like 4-5 a day. That’s another 1000-1200 calories. Or snacking between meals–probably at something like Taco Bell, Wendy’s, Burger King–you get the idea. And we’ve not talked about my penchant for margaritas by the pitcher or Jack Daniels. Best guess on average I probably consumed between 5000 and 10,000 calories a day.

And exercise? My idea of exercise was a 12 ounce curl and the walk to and from the bathroom. Strenuous exercise was walking around the supermarket.

Is it any wonder how I ended up at 589 pounds at my worst?

Yes, that was me, Jeff Stein. The man I used to be.

If you’ve read the previous blog postings, you’ll know life is a little different now. I traded a baconator for a turkey burger with no cheese or a bun. Got rid of the fries for grilled asparagus. The “natural” lemonade for smartwater.

You get the idea.

I wish I could tell you the days of fast food and garbage food are over for me. Truth is they’ll never be over. There will always be a part of me that sees an ad on TV and drools. I’ll see some deal of 2 for $5 burger/sandwich and want to run over and buy $10 worth. This will always be a problem and issue. I like food. I like food a lot.  but I know and as GI Joe used to say–knowing is half the battle.

598 pounds.

That used to be me.

But not any more.