The Countdown 2/4/2014

Last Week: 330

This Week: 331 (Goal was 325)

Next week’s goal: 325

Magic Number to 220: 111 lbs.

Lost since Nov 2012: 212 lbs

Lost Since Nov 2011: 230 lbs

Highest ever weight recorded/known: 589 (difference of 258 lbs)

To say I’m annoyed is an understatement. Eight days and I can’t seem to lose one pound? It’s one thing when it’s a vacation or something crazy but your basic standard week? When on Sunday I was at 329? When I did 78,000 steps averaging 11,148 steps a day and 5.12 mile average?

I’m more active than I’ve ever been and yet…struggling. I got to 342 in mid November and since then it’s been a total of 13 pounds. Yes there were gains. Yes, it was the holidays. Yes, I started on 1/1/14 at 349 and lost 18 pounds this month. But really, I’ve been running in place for 2+ months now.

Last week included 2 trips to McDonalds for ice cream cones, a trip to KFC for Grilled Chicken, “sampling” at Whole Foods, eating the nice treats in the kitchen, and a the small piece of pie during the Super Bowl. And yet a 78K+ week couldn’t offset apparently any of this! Truly ironic that I simply can’t step myself out of this. On Sunday, I did pilates, and dance class, yoga, and another 11,000 steps to boot!

No effect.

No, it’s all about the nutrition. Which for me is easier said than done. Every time I pick up something to eat, there’s at least 2-3 thoughts that fly into my head. And while that’s great the constant watching and mindfulness is beginning to take it’s toll. It gets mentally tiring which adds stress which results in even worse choices.

Of late Miranda, my dietian, wants good quality choices which flies in the face of everything I know. Because there are days where I look at a food option which is better quality and know something from McDonalds has less calories or lower fat content.

The result?

McDs–of course. Shoot, I see Big Macs are 2 for $5 and I want’em. You’d think I know better and I do but yet there I am drooling at the idea of eating 2 Big Macs. So instead I have a McDonalds ice cream cone. Better than Big Macs but not going to help to hit goal. Still not getting me anywhere near 220.

Hell, after stepping off the scale this morning all I wanted to do was eat something. Not what would be “the right correct choice” either. Something with chocolate, bacon, and peanut butter with a side of steak and some sort of fried potatoes smothered in cheese and ketchup. Oh and ice cream–for sure ice cream. Maybe some fudge too while I’m at it. Oh and doritos or fritos too.

Relax, I touched none of that. Well except the peanut butter but the rest…?

Nope.

So now comes the fun. My week starts today on Tuesday but yet I will weigh in on Monday. And I have 6 pounds to lose. And it appears I could run a marathon and sleep in the dry sauna with no real effect. No, I’m going to need to get clean again. REALLY clean. Squeaky clean. Clean like I can eat off the floor without a 5 second rule clean.

Yeah.

Jeez, why has this gotten so damn hard? I feel like they should just feed me with an IV or something so it’d be easier.

Because I like food. I like food a lot. Because right now when I say “okay, just one taste” it turns into 1-3 pieces. Because I keep finding myself in a drive thru way too often lately. Because TV is filled with food porn.

Because…I’m tired of making sacrifices…and I need to keep making them.

I lost this weight because I was willing to do what it takes. And right now that’s not happening. I could work harder. I could be cleaner.

I know it.

I’m also tired of making sacrifices. The hard ones. The ones that will get me to the goal.

It was one thing when I’d lose but not hit goal but gaining…ouch.

There are times this process has been ugly. Just never this ugly.

It’s going to be a long week…

Who I used to be

I was just like everybody else. I didn’t have time to prep food, I wanted it fast, and I wanted it cheap. Here’s what a typical day might look like.

Breakfast–McDonalds: Steak and Egg bagel (minus the egg); Hash Browns x 2; Cinnamon Melt; Vanilla Sugar Free Ice Coffee

Total Calories: 1430

Lunch–Wendy’s: Baconator; Double Stacks x 2; Large Fries; Large All Natural Lemonade

Total for the meal: 2640

Before I even had dinner, I had consumed 4070 calories. One pound is 3500 calories. By lunch time, I was already up one.

This didn’t include something like Gatorade. FYI a 32 oz bottle is 240 calories. I’d consume like 4-5 a day. That’s another 1000-1200 calories. Or snacking between meals–probably at something like Taco Bell, Wendy’s, Burger King–you get the idea. And we’ve not talked about my penchant for margaritas by the pitcher or Jack Daniels. Best guess on average I probably consumed between 5000 and 10,000 calories a day.

And exercise? My idea of exercise was a 12 ounce curl and the walk to and from the bathroom. Strenuous exercise was walking around the supermarket.

Is it any wonder how I ended up at 589 pounds at my worst?

Yes, that was me, Jeff Stein. The man I used to be.

If you’ve read the previous blog postings, you’ll know life is a little different now. I traded a baconator for a turkey burger with no cheese or a bun. Got rid of the fries for grilled asparagus. The “natural” lemonade for smartwater.

You get the idea.

I wish I could tell you the days of fast food and garbage food are over for me. Truth is they’ll never be over. There will always be a part of me that sees an ad on TV and drools. I’ll see some deal of 2 for $5 burger/sandwich and want to run over and buy $10 worth. This will always be a problem and issue. I like food. I like food a lot.  but I know and as GI Joe used to say–knowing is half the battle.

598 pounds.

That used to be me.

But not any more.